i'm a cool vacation dad

egggggggs:

queerpropaganda:
how cute is it that humans make homes for birds??? humans are so cute
pretty cute, but when was the last time a bird made a house for a human? that’s right, never. it’s time it fucking goes both ways.

optimisting:

if u got alcohol hmu

#me #reblog my selfie !!

♑

dr-haunted-howse:

we found a camera from around 5 years back and this was the only thing on it

properslang:

alohandrea:
unamusedsloth:
The new Godzilla movie had a lower budget than expected.
SO CUTE I CANT
the setting was still nice tho

surprisebitch:

dating tip: ask them to show you their recently used emojis so you can count your matches and see if you are compatible

neptunain:

go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait

mormondad:

i completely forgot that you actually have to pay for internet

runyoucleverboyandremember:

“if you’re so stressed out from school why don’t you just study more or take fewer classes??”